He's a midnight T.V. master with skin of alabaster
He's been awesome since the 80's and handy with the ladies.
Tells his bosses were to stick it, he's Andy's meal ticket.
Doesn't follow me on Twitter. It's okay, I'm not bitter.
Gonna tell you more about him but first I'll just say.

Hey... look at me!
I'm on his show, that's right!
Only took eighteen years,
guess he's just kinda slow!

I remember this one time when Conan and I went camping
We were roasting weenies, and then some guy walks in our campsite
Conan goes completely mental and rips the stranger's face off.
Wears the face on top of his face and this stupid dance while
wearing this enormous diaper made out of baby kittens
And he does that creepy laugh that still haunts my dreams to this day.
Oh no, what have I done? He said that I'd be sorry
If I told a single soul and I just told everybody
Right here on his own T.V. show
Man, I'm in so much trouble
Tell my wife and kid I love them
I better run for my life


Back to Conan Theme Song

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.