First things first, I'm a craftsman (craftsman) Remodeling is my only passion (it's my passion) And I'm the greatest in the business Want referrals, yo My clientèle will bear you witness (right, right) I can help when your door jamb sticks (heh?) There is nothing in the world I can't fix (yeah) I do tiles, I do stone, I do bricks Call me, I'll come rushing over with my bag of tricks (bag of tricks) Where you go when your disposal is rusted (rusted) Termite problem making you disgusted (yuck) When your front window is busted Just one name that's always trusted I'm so handy You already know I'll fix your plumbing When your toilets overflow (poo) I'm so handy I'll bring you up to code When your dishwasher's About to 'splode Now, you see that your furnace is needing some service I'm fully bonded, no need to be nervous Perhaps you would like a new counter Formica Maybe I'll hook up this here combo washer-dryer But all your pipes are antique Your water pressure's too weak You got an attic full of dry rot Because your roof sprung a leak Your fridge is starting to reek Your hardwood floors really squeak But don't you worry, I'll just show you my amazing technique Now let me glue that, glue that and screw that, screw that Any random chore you got, well, I can do that, do that Or maybe I'll just rewire your house for fun I got 99 problems, but a switch ain't one I'm so handy Everyone says so I'll grout your bathroom Resurface your patio I'm so handy I'm the guy to know When your leaf blower Doesn't blow Patch the drywall Clean your gutters and mow the lawn Make that phone call I'll install anything you want Yeah, check my big staple gun My socket wrenches are second to none I won't quit till I'm done Don't even care if I hammer my thumb, ow! Still rocking my screwdriver Got the whole world thinking I'm MacGyver Your heating bills are shocking I can solve that with some duct tape and some caulking Your house is a disaster, huh Need a guy who's a master with the plaster, huh Let me be your stripper Taking off lacquer, no one does it quicker I'm so handy You already know I'll beat all price quotes My hourly rates are low I'm so handy You should call this pro I'm in the phone book And se habla español
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