First things first, I'm a craftsman (craftsman)
Remodeling is my only passion (it's my passion)
And I'm the greatest in the business
Want referrals, yo
My clientèle will bear you witness (right, right)
I can help when your door jamb sticks (heh?)
There is nothing in the world I can't fix (yeah)
I do tiles, I do stone, I do bricks
Call me, I'll come rushing over with my bag of tricks (bag of tricks)
Where you go when your disposal is rusted (rusted)
Termite problem making you disgusted (yuck)
When your front window is busted
Just one name that's always trusted

I'm so handy
You already know
I'll fix your plumbing 
When your toilets overflow (poo)

I'm so handy
I'll bring you up to code
When your dishwasher's 
About to 'splode

Now, you see that your furnace is needing some service
I'm fully bonded, no need to be nervous
Perhaps you would like a new counter Formica
Maybe I'll hook up this here combo washer-dryer
But all your pipes are antique
Your water pressure's too weak
You got an attic full of dry rot
Because your roof sprung a leak
Your fridge is starting to reek
Your hardwood floors really squeak
But don't you worry, I'll just show you my amazing technique

Now let me glue that, glue that and screw that, screw that
Any random chore you got, well, I can do that, do that
Or maybe I'll just rewire your house for fun
I got 99 problems, but a switch ain't one

I'm so handy
Everyone says so
I'll grout your bathroom
Resurface your patio

I'm so handy
I'm the guy to know
When your leaf blower
Doesn't blow

Patch the drywall
Clean your gutters and mow the lawn
Make that phone call
I'll install anything you want
Yeah, check my big staple gun
My socket wrenches are second to none
I won't quit till I'm done
Don't even care if I hammer my thumb, ow!

Still rocking my screwdriver
Got the whole world thinking I'm MacGyver
Your heating bills are shocking
I can solve that with some duct tape and some caulking
Your house is a disaster, huh
Need a guy who's a master with the plaster, huh
Let me be your stripper
Taking off lacquer, no one does it quicker

I'm so handy
You already know 
I'll beat all price quotes
My hourly rates are low

I'm so handy
You should call this pro 
I'm in the phone book
And se habla español

Back to Handy

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