Tuesday morning, 8:15, I was riding to work on the JACKSON PARK EXPRESS! Seemed like any other day, Then my whole world changed In a way I never could have guessed, 'Cause she walked in, O-oh-O Took the seat, right across the aisle I knew we had a special connection The second I saw her smile She smiled as if to say, "Hello, haven't seen you on this bus before" I gave her a look that said, "Ha. Life is funny, you never know what's in store, By the way, your hair is beautiful, I bet it smells like raisins." She looked at me in a way that asked, "Did you have a nose job or something? I'm only asking, 'Cause your nose looks slightly better, Than the rest of your face." I arched my eyebrow, ever so slightly. Which was my way of asking, "Do you want my old Hewlett-Packard printer? It still works... Kinda. And I got a bunch of ink cartridges left." Then, she let out a long sigh, (Oooh) Which, I took to mean, "Uh, Mama, What is that deodorant you're wearing? It's intoxicating, Why don't we drive out to the country some time? And collect deer ticks in a Ziplock baggie. Aw yeah." I gave her a penetrating stare Which could only mean, "You are my answer. My answer to everything. Which is why, I'll probably do very poorly on the written part of my driver's test." O-oh-O, O-ho-O, O-oh-O-O-oh-O Yes It all happened on the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express I knew she was starting to fall for me, 'Cause she crinkled her nose, which unmistakably meant, "Baby, let's wear each other's clothes, And speak in a thick German accent And maybe some day we can own and operate Our own mobile pet-grooming service." (Ahhhh) I couldn't hold back my feelings, I gave her a look, that said, "I would make any sacrifice for your love, Goat, chicken, whatever. I could never hold you close enough, Let's have our bodies surgically grafted together." (Surgically grafted together) She picked up a newspaper and started reading to herself, Which I'm sure was her way of telling me, "When you're cold, I will warm you. Ah! Ah, When you're shivering, I will hold you When you're nauseous, I will give you Pepto-Bismol every hour For as long as the symptoms persist O-oh-I, I never, ever want to see you cry, So, please let me, cauterise your tear ducts with an arc welder," Then I glanced down at her shirt for a second In a way that clearly implied, "I like your boobs." Yes It all happened on the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express I cleared my throat quietly, and then I looked away, And I'm sure it was obvious to her just what I was trying to say, I was trying to say, "Hey!, (Hey) I'd like to make a wall-sized mural Out of all the dead skin cells That you slough off while you sleep at night Whoa-o-Oh, I'd like to rip you wide open, And french-kiss every single one of your internal organs, Oh, I'd like to remove all your skin, And wear your skin over my own skin, But not in a creepy way" Then I'm pretty sure she looked at me, out of the corner of her good eye, And though she never spoke a word this is exactly what I heard, She was saying, "Oh!, I wanna make out with you In an abandoned toll-booth In the middle of a monsoon. I wanna ride dolphins with you In the moonlight Until the staff of SeaWorld kicks us out I want you inside me, O-O-oh, Like a tapeworm." I pointed to the side of my mouth, as a way of indicating, "Hey!, I think you got something on the side of your mouth" She licked the corner of her lips, as if to say, "Here?" I nodded, implying, "Yeah, you got it." And then the bus stopped, At 53rd Street, and she got up suddenly, "Where are you going?", pleaded my eyes, "Baby, don't you do this to me, Think of the beautiful children we could have someday, We could school them at home, bring them up the right way, And protect them from the evils of the world Like trigonometry and prime numbers, O-Oh-No, baby, please don't go." She brushed my leg as she left the bus; I'm sure that was her way of saying, "I'm sorry this just isn't working out, You're suffocating me, I need some space to find out what life's all about, So goodbye forever, (ooh) my love," And deep inside, I knew she was right It was time for us both to move on No, I never got her number, oh-no-no, She never bothered to leave her address, But as long as I live I'll never forget those precious moments we shared Together on the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express!
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