Mom and dad are goin' out for the evening And you're stuck inside the house all alone That's when you decide it might be fun to harass someone Dial a random number up on your telephone You ask if their refrigerator is runnin' Then you tell 'em they should go out and catch it Buddy, if they ever figured out where you were callin' 'em from They'd come and bust your head right in with a ratchet (Listen to me) Don't go makin' phony calls Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you're used to I know that you think it's funny drivin' folks right up the wall But it's really gettin' old fast Little Melvin has a natural obsession Askin' for Prince Albert in a can He gets a kick each time he makes a collect call To some guy he doesn't know who lives in Japan He's callin' strangers up at three in the mornin' Gives 'em pizza pie delivery at four He won't be laughin' when they're tracin his line One day the phone police will be there at his door (Yo, hear me) Don't go makin' phony calls Only dial the seven-digit numbers you're used to (that you're used to) Swear someday I'm gonna yank that phone cord right out from the wall How long is this phase gonna last? (Come on) [Moe:] Moe's Tavern - Where the elite meet to drink. [Bart:] Uh, yeah, hello, is Mike there? Last name Rotch. [Moe:] Hold on; I'll check. [Moe:] Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch! Hey, has anybody seen my crotch lately? [others laughing] [Moe:] Listen to me you little puke. [Moe:] One of these days, I'm gonna catch you [Moe:] And I'm gonna carve my name on your back with an icepick! [Bart laughing] Don't go makin' phoney calls Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you're used to You went through the New York City phone book and prank-called 'em all Hope that you grow out of this fast Grow out of this fast... Don't go makin' phoney calls Only dial the seven-digit numbers you're used to Bet you think it's funny when you're drivin' folks right up the wall But you're just a pain in the ass
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